lavanderblues

Thursday, November 30, 2006

comments from today:

mirriam and liyana commented today that being attached automatically makes a girl less attractive. i could see why. its like doubled up for me because my height automatically makes me a lot less attractive to guys already. but hell, it doesnt really matter does it? as long as there is that one special guy in the world who thinks you're as hot as hell, what the rest of the male species think about how you look is automatically discounted. =P

lin~*
12:10 am

my result here is the same as lawrence's! =)

BROWNIE BATTER!

You scored 92% SWEET, 59% CHUNKY, and 74% UNIQUE!

brownie batter ice cream with a rich brownie batter swirl

Mmmm....you are a very sweet mix indeed! You are warm, loving, and caring to all those around you, but you're not boring in the least! You have a wild streak and a creative, unique streak, too. You are a great friend, an interesting person, and you know how to have fun without ending up crouching over a toilet bowl. Nice!

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on SWEET
You scored higher than 99% on CHUNKY
You scored higher than 99% on UNIQUE

Link: The Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream Flavor Test written by weered1 on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

lin~*
12:02 am

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

photo splodge part I

hooray! the exams are over! =) the intensive torture of information feeding that had been the mainstay for the past 3-4 months is finally drawing to an end! no more mindless memorising of drugs and weird terms for the sake of memorising them, even if you're not completely sure what the hell u're spouting, for now at least. finally time to take a breather! =)

unfortunately, there's still 2 weeks of school immediately following our CAs. its been extremely hard to focus in lectures, and the 4 lectures-a-day of neuroscience and bacteriology has just been whizzing by in a blur of things, im not sure if ive gained anything from sitting in that freezingly cold LT for the past 2 days. my brain's just too tired and retaliating by refusing to absorb or focus. i. need. a. break. really. badly. which thankfully comes in the form of a free day tomorrow! =)

so here are photos from the past 2 weeks or so, which have been extremely trying. they consisted mostly of trying very hard to concentrate in lectures, study pathology and pharmacology, and having to deal with the immense mental stress of having a shitload of relatives in the house. they came in a stream, one group after the other. my house was noisy with all their chatter and this constant buzz of mental stress with all that noise and extra people just kept draining me out. i attempted to escape from that mental torture by staying out first in school, then at smu with shiyun. but that just became too much after awhile too.

so i felt that i probably didnt do as well for the recent patho and pharmaco (esp patho cos i just couldnt seem to focus in the 45min duration of the paper) as i hoped to. did alright for the previous 4 papers too. at least i passed, but i still feel that i waste too much of my time studying extra things and not doing as well as other people who study smart.

so anyway, the stress and torture both scholastically and privately for the past week or so have ended, and i can properly enjoy now. for awhile, till i begin trying to plow through the work that has accumulated during this exam study period.

i rambled on and on. lets cut to the chase. photos here:

granny's 87th birthday. i love her =) she's so cute and sweet, not to mention she has been there taking care of me since i was born, and living with us. im just so glad and thankful that she's still healthy and strong.

bean's birthday, which was the day we all wore red to celebrate her growing one year older! =) lots more pictures of this on her blog!

the following crapload of photos are from the post exam lunch at sun and moon at wheelock with bean, me, marcus, wrong joel, zhenjin, jerry, liwei, and william! liyana and mirri were there too, but sun and moon wasnt halal unfortunately.

joel and his cheesecake! he's been asking about the green tea tiramisu "with a lot of green powder" picture on my blog in a previous post since forever, so he was really excited to try this cheesecake that came in a birdcage. haha.

bean and the snowman beanie she got from joshua and kahheng for her birthday!

zhenjin and jerry - they look almost like brothers with their matching outfits for the day =P

good times, with a car ride with old guys talking incessantly about cars (which i just totally went zzzzz in =P) and funny bean with her continuing tirade of how pigs are cute. this lunch was followed by an attempted ktv session when a few of us met up with baorong, ibrahim, eugene, zhimin and velda later, but that fell through. went to do my eyebrows after that anyway hehe.

more post exam photos to come - @ awfully choc, MORE east coast prawn mee and ecp etc =)

lin~*
10:00 pm

Saturday, November 25, 2006

old photo

my lovelies =)

lin~*
11:36 pm

haha.

robbins: "the only certain way of avoiding cancer is not to be born; to live is to incur the risk"

and 1 in 5 people will die of cancer.

damnit. i shldnt have been born. now im going to be a statistic.

lin~*
1:33 am

Thursday, November 23, 2006

horrible. =/

sucks when the majority of the people you love are far far away, and there's hardly anyone to go to when u feel vulnerable because they are 1. traipsing around niagara falls with friends old and new, 2. studying vvv hard which stresses you out completely, 3. you've already bothered them and cant anymore else they'll think you're insane or 4. just too busy or not there.

doesnt help too when you have relatives in the house invading your personal and study space, and you cant coherently place the reasons for why you hate them so much into words that would make anyone else understand your position without first thinking you're a selfish unloving freak. relatives who treat your house as a free hotel, available for them to stay as long as they like, or to bring whoever they like there. its my fucking house, damnit.

im glad i dont have siblings. no obligations to people i dont like in the future, unlike my poor poor parents with 10 sets each.

smu is so nice its positively unfair that nus looks and feels like such a dump. if it werent for the medical school, and the wonderful people there, id hate it to bits.

i'm a wrecked up jangle of hormones right now. dont step on my toes.

miss you. 1 more mth to wait is simply too long.

lin~*
9:55 pm

Monday, November 13, 2006

fooding splodge...

thanks for all the encouraging comments on my tagboard =) i was really touched to read them, esp from friends who're so far away and whom i really miss very dearly.

this weekend's been rather relaxed and filled with sleeping and going out. i did help my parents clear out the storeroom because we found this humongous rat the length of about 2/3 my arm, not including its really long curly tail. ugh gross. when mum lifted this big picture frame that we stored there, it scampered out, causing my mum and maid to shriek really shrilly. it then wavered underfoot near my mum for a split second before it ran out of the storeroom, past me, into this clump of bushes in my garden. dad the-too-late-hero ran out of the house with his golf club - a no.8 iron, but was too late to catch the scrouge. thoroughly freaked out by the scampering rogue, we gave the storeroom a thorough cleaning, and even a new coat of paint. what an adventure.

i havent posted any food pictures for quite some time, so here are some photos from fairly recent fooding adventures:

gorgeous gorgeous east coast road prawn mee, with lots and lots of chilli powder and fairly big prawns! yummy! gosh i can practically taste it in my mouth now, and its really making me salivate, even though i had it 2 weekends in a row. these photos were from the first weekend, when i went there with marcus and zhenzhen, after the public health screening at toa payoh. we had a wonderful time, with delicious bowls of prawn mee, lime juice, and a huge plate of ngoh hiang!

posers posing with our wonderfully delicious prawn noodles after a hard morning's work at toa payoh hdb hub. i'll blog about some of the more interesting encounters there in another post.

on the recent saturday after CAs, i finally got to go to sun with moon with my parents! nice nice set lunches, really value for money. my dad enjoyed his seaweed udon with handroll set tremendously, which is saying a lot. haha... i tasted it too! its like japanese food that's a little different from our usual boring california handroll and salmon sushi and what not. and the usual normal stuff like seaweed udon there is exceptionally tasty. yum!

the desserts are gorgeous. at least i felt that way. hahaha.

the famed tofu cheesecake that christine has been talking about sooo much, and even asked me to bake. haha its really light, and has a great texture. i really enjoyed it, and it didnt make me feel stuffed, even after the heavy lunch.

gorgeous looking green tea tiramisu. ooh! haha. its rather different from our usual tiramisu with the mascarpone cheese and liquor though. but still really light and delicious =)

and well, after class today, i got a lift home from dear celene and darryl, whereupon i set to work baking these little darlings for a couple of special people tmr! =)

ooh haha after looking at all these pictures, im hungry. =)

lin~*
10:22 pm

Thursday, November 09, 2006

sounds from the library today

e: "yay i finished microB in one day!!!"
li n me: "quick!!! close ur eyes, mouth, nose and ears! later leak out?!"

me: "arghhh! ive been in this bloody library since 830, and only taken less than 2hr break for lunch dinner AND toilet, and i still cant freaking remember all this stuff?!" (it was 9pm btw)
li: "dont worry, you've been studying so hard, it'll all come to u"
me: "like real. and you know it too."
li: "yah true."

anyone: "ahhh i just studied this like 3mins ago!!! how come forget already!!!"

the marathon stretch in the library today from 830 to 945 did little for my current state of microB and immuno knowledge. loads more to do still. damnit. i hate memorising stuff. esp stuff that doesnt make sense, but just pure mindless cramming of random bombastic words. and tiny minute details that arent taught or consolidated in class but rather, you're supposed to miraculously know them, from txtbooks and the such i suppose. medicine has brought my worst fear to life.

my brain feels like a hunk of foie gras now.

stuffed.

lin~*
10:24 pm

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

W.

forget the 5Ps of smoking, or the 3 steps of Green's precede framework.

Here's the good (and important) one. the one W of COFM.

Whatever.

lin~*
9:47 am

Saturday, November 04, 2006

i know im supposed to be studying...

but since i cant really stuff everything into my miniscule brain, and im probably going to fail anyway, here goes...

i just had some stuff to get off my chest. just spent the past 20mins flipping through the RJC alumni group in facebook, looking at where everyone is, adding new friends to my facebook list. somehow, i got really sad and despondent. attached to most friends' names were prestigious universities i had always longed to go to; imperial, harvard, cambridge, stanford etc. and for many of them, it has become a reality... they're living the overseas college life that i had dreamt of since i was tiny, that motivated me to study through the gruelling sec and jc days. and well, i'm stuck in our little sunny island of singapore, the place we all call home. its not that bad i guess, considering i'm pursuing my dream, medicine. its just that, i was sooo close to getting there. i had the grades, i even had the resume to boot. i probably cld have gotten a scholarship had i applied, and i even got a place. at imperial. to do medicine. just that no company or organisation in their right mind offers an overseas medical scholarship. and well, it just didnt seem worth it to make my parents spend an extra $400k just for me to live my dream overseas, when i can get a possibly equally good degree here for so much cheaper.

nus is not a bad university. i suppose its a good, even a great university. and i am having a lot of fun here, with all the great people i've gotten to know in medicine. its just that seeing myself attached to it unravels a whole string of broken dreams. but ultimately, when i graduate, i shld be where i want to be. thats the only thing keeping me going.

i think a lot of friends in med would feel similarly about this.

my friends overseas tell me its not that great a deal to be there... and my parents promised that esp since i saved a bundle by not going to imperial, i could travel around the region with my friends during the holidays. but somehow when i want to make plans, its always my parents who're in the way. im either not allowed because they're being cautious and protective, or they want to go too. which totally spoils the fun dont u think?

i feel like crying now.

lin~*
10:18 pm