lavanderblues

Saturday, September 17, 2005

lantern festival aka mooncake festival always stirs up a whole host of mixed feelings in me.

in pri6 when i was studying for my PSLE, i remembered crying and crying really badly because i was studying at what my family calls the "grand table"; this imposing wooden table in my parents' room. well, it faces the window, and there were herds of little kids walking by with their colourful lanterns, chattering away... and i couldnt go because i had to study. i was SO SAD. i just sat there and kept crying anw.

last year, i walked around the neighbourhood... seeing all the little kids carrying lanterns, and swearing that i WILL carry lantern this year. BUT i havent bought myself a lantern to carry yet, nor made plans with ppl to carry with me too. because i JUST remembered my promise to myself. I must must must celebrate all the festivals, at least eat mooncake (which i did just now, normal baked ones and not the raffles hotel or yam ones i really wanted, but still nice) and pomelo (which my mum bought already) and spend time with family in the "tuan yuan" fashion (which im doing.. havent i moved back home for midsem break??). and i think its sorely dumb and very SAD to walk around with a lantern, as an overaged and grown kid, ALONE. i shall attempt to jio enming and andrew leong who live really near me to carry lantern w me... or at least visit them or sthg if they're celebrating w their families.

SIGH. this is one of the times where being an only child is SAD.

one of the funnest lantern fests i've ever had has to be back in my dad's kampong. my cousins and i made a ring of candles in the car porch and stole mooncakes and pomelo and other snacks from the adults and sat in there chatting and eating =) after which we went to light fireworks, and walk around with lanterns. we even caught a firefly! haha... that memory really epitomises lantern fest, or any traditional chinese festival to me, because i always believe that these should be noisy and surrounded by lots of ppl. but because we live in s'pore away from ALL my relatives, this doesnt usually happen.

i always feel the loneliest during chinese new year, lantern fest, and christmas, maybe a few other days here and there. nowhere to go, nothing to do, no one to do stuff with... most of the time i just read a book, go online, watch tv or mug.

i WANT more family =( and paper lanterns... oh yes and yam mooncakes.

lin~*
10:15 pm