lavanderblues

Thursday, March 24, 2005

wrong dream?

feels as though im chasing the wrong dream. am i am i? or maybe just not good enough.
just got rejected by edinburgh today... hais. and no news from imperial. im probably on some "see how" list. if imp rejects too, and cos i dun really want to go queenmary, uk's really out for me liao.
argh i just hate to bang my hopes too much on nus. it just seems so hard to get in.
hai and i've been trying so hard. so bloody damn hard.

thank goodness for my babies today, or i'd have brooded too much on this through the afternoon and gotten myself into a pithole. esp dannyboy, this down's syndrome kid who's so lovable and sweet. when he smiles, its so pure, undulterated, innocent, real, i feel as though the whole world can be put right again, a wave of happiness rushes through me. some of the other volunteers feel the same too. but some of them are just terrified of him cos he goes around hugging and kissing people when he sees they're sad or sthg. i was really happy today there - huiwen, zene, adam, azila and all the other kids were so fun today- but he hugged me twice and kissed me 3 times. maybe he can sense the despondency inside. maybe.

lin~*
8:43 pm